Fearless

To be fearless is a state of mind, which can be evoked by confidence, which comes from past successes of attacking fear.

Today I got struck by fear, it's a remainder from my days with panic attacks, sometimes I just feel a strong anxiety in my body - which let me to write this:

"Fear, fear, fear, hold me back, hold me down, make sit quiet, make me stop, make me pause, make come to a still stand. Let’s explore this feeling of this chill, which sits on my chest like a heavy armour but doesn’t protect me, instead wears me down. How do I take this weight off my shoulders and get back my fast pace of mind. It’s like I've lost the feeling, the feeling of movement."

I thought about the book "The obstacle is the way", specifically about the insight that whatever obstacle is in front of you is the most important thing to solve, that's the life lesson. So I took my time to think about what just happened. I wrote this down:

"This thing, of finding you groove after you think you've lost it, maybe I can rationalise why I haven’t lost it. I haven’t lost it, but even if I say this the feeling is not the same any more. It’s a feeling that comes from just being and feeling the vibe. How to stimulate the groove. Let’s get groovy. Play some sick tunes and chill."

I thought to myself, which strategies can I employ to get my vibe back. These are what I came up with:

    1. Let my mind go to the next thing i.e. focus on a happier thought
    2. Pause with everything that I am doing and listen to the sounds and movements around me, get grounded
    3. Do something brave, to break the pattern
I tried strategies 1 and 2 and while they can be super useful - sometimes they don't work when the fear is stronger and a bit more deep rooted. Later I was picking up some food and while I was waiting for my order to arrive I saw her:

"There she was. A tall light-skinned Portuguese girl, bright yellow pants, looking beautiful. She was with 5 girlfriends. I walked up, excused myself and told her that I thought she was pretty cute, she blushed. We had some small talk for a few minutes and exchanged details. It doesn't matter what happens next, but what it did, is that it gave me confidence."

All of a sudden, my mind is on another plateau. It's like I can now meet, see, talk to different people and feel like I own the situation. I am on a high of confidence and the rush is making me fearless. Fortune favours the bold.

What does all of this mean? Should we constantly go out there and do things that make us feel uncomfortable? Maybe the best way to remove all your limitations is to attack fear every day, but confronting it, again, again and again. Then from the successes, which won't always happen, but when they do, will make you feel fearless.