Today I was afraid. I swum in the ocean, it was really early. Skies velvet and blue. Sunrise. It had been the second day that I woke up early to go the ocean and there's 5 steps which are hard:
- Step 1: Get into the water: you die, the water is so cold, you think you're gonna die
- Step 2: You get used to it and start to enjoy it: I like this part the most. It feels good, even to the point been in ecstasy.
- Step 3: You get out and go home: i hate this part the most, your body is shaking, it's not fun.
- Step 4: Warm shower: this feels so good
- Step 5: You get out of the shower and you're still shaking because you're body is still cold. Then it warms up slowly and this feels good.
If you take too long as i did today, (step 4), it might feel good in the moment but you get out and you feel weak (not recommended).
The point of this story was to tell you why i was afraid. I was afraid but it was a good kind of afraid, like being afraid of the unknown.
I swim a lot in my daily life and usually in the out door pools of Berlin. Someone one time described swimming as the closest thing to a waking meditation.
It's true. My buddy Lucas got me into it. And if you want to learn more about method, read here: https://blog.elco.io/no-pain-no-gain
Either way, today I was afraid because while the sound of pools are "muted noise", the sea is "insanely loud". I didn't know about that.
This morning, 6.20am I tried to swim under water for a while and the sound i heard was that of murder. Like a sharp sound, maybe the closest comparison is that of a washing machine, but a mean washing machine.
Then I thought, while the waves hitting the shore create a recurring sound, that sound comes in cycles and is mostly centered around the mid EQ on a DJ mixer, occasionally touching the highs and lows.
But underwater, you don’t really hear the waves breaking. What you hear is mostly just high EQ — sharp, intense. So imagine the sound of the sea when you’re standing on the shore, but stripped down to only the high frequencies, piercing like a washing machine gone rogue.
That's what made me afraid, but curious too. I listened to it a few times, to really take it in.
I think this is truth with most things that you're afraid of, sometimes you need to go again, and listen carefully, get a bit closer, to really understand what is i about.
once you have understood it (and you may never) there's nothing to be afraid for anymore
try to understand
to be free